“Okinawa in blue cheese” or The Day That Towson-Glen Arm Wrote In My Yearbook

The haywire aesthetic of Towson-Glen Arm was ever present. No matter what the young artists of the north County underground were up to, an overwhelming sense of absurdity and skewed political consciousness ran through everything they created from music, to zines, to graphic design, to performance art, and even something as mundane as the words they chose to casually sign in a friend’s high school yearbook:

Incredibly strange prose written by Josh Marchant in Andy Devos’ 1995 Dulaney High School yearbook. The line “All hail to the Guru” is in reference to Devos’ performance art/joke musical group Guru Magpie, one of the most influential latter day (1995-1997) Towson-Glen Arm acts (courtesy of Andy Devos)

The TGA artist Josh Marchant managed to summarize his brutally subversive weirdness, but summary was definitely NOT the intention of the crazed teen eccentric/former Retarded Dogs member/lacrosse star(?!?) Scott Makowske*. Mallarme would be pleasantly humbled by the frantic rambling that Scott left as a memento in the 1993 Dulaney High School yearbook that belonged to his close friend Mike Apichella. Makowske’s hand writing in said yearbook was appropriately messy and tough to read, so, instead of featuring an actual scan of what he wrote, included below is a transcription of it. Absolutely no word here has been embellished or changed, there are no mistakes, and any errors in grammar, spelling, punctuation, or tense were 110% intentional aesthetic choices made by the artist. Many of Scott Makowske’s fellow students are mentioned here as are various random celebrities and pop culture references (all google-able/wiki-able), but these all have little effect on this text’s conceptual thrust. No matter how you look at it Scott Makowske used his words to fire off a grand blast of literary chaos :

“When you are walking home from school, when you watch ‘Leave It To Beaver’ , when you watch ‘Bachopgalupe’ you wil die of a hernia with Will Smith and Joey Lawrence – (Bob Villa). Well this year has been pretty lame since we haven’t been in classes together but maybe next year we will (YEAH!). You will be off at Harvard or Yale or wherever you decide to go. Or you will just marry the god of all gods, the king of all kings, the oatmeal of all oatmeal, the king of the crop, the crop to the cream ED EIFORT! I think I really see a future for you and Mike Coe. I really think that Jason Koplin will be the next Ed McMan or jeepers creepers what about those hamhocks. Jeepers shamrocks I don’t know why Jason Shoemaker ate apples with Mike Watson and Brad Marsiglia will turn into a Dave Kean is the king of all gods if you don’t tell me and Steve Gallblatts. I really like the Eroft Eredshi song but it wasn’t a greese pit at K.F.L. because the cornal didn’t watch enough cartoons because Larry Holmes lost to Jason Eden so watch t.v. with a butterknife or you won’t win the battle of the sexes with Tom Kite or Larry Johnson. But on the normal side, warn wong, wang dang, bang yarn, arn barn, dayhack or I don’t whin a Whinny Cooper or Jason Moon. I was walking in the park one day in the Mary Little month of Mayyy I was turning into cheese my breath started to smell like Celeste’s nostril hair. Well you can tell by the way I use my teeth I’m a dentist and no time to cheat. I’ve been knocked around since I beat off. If you don’t watch yourself you might die of a Okinawa in blue cheese if you don’t watch your back the nitsquad will come after you with a spoon and The Sunfish might lose to The Crab Cakes if you win the Brett Mather Bowl of the super fish you might die in summer.

Bob Villa’s Nostril hair might explode into a big piece of spaghetti and play advance to board walk with my Polka Inn disease. I cant wait until next week when we go to the “Bug” show yeah!!!! If you will watch what you say you might not die and go to ham heaven but if you win the super bowl you might not eat cheesecake you will win the Missouri Compromise to win the Dudley Doright because he went to basket heaven.

I don’t smoke beer. I drink ham. I don’t kill sheep. I don’t sleep with fish.

Look, a flock of killer sheep.

Night Fever. Disco Inferno. Macho Man. Heart Of Glass. 5th Of Beethoven. Car Wash. I Will Survive. More Than A Woman. Stayin’ Alive. Ladies’ Night. Funky Town. Do The Hustle. Celebration. Y.M.C.A.

Sample of Brad Presly.

Your best buddy,
Scott Makowske

p.s., Watch out for your I will turn into a soil (yeah)!!”
——————————————————————————————-

*Just in case you’re wondering, here’s the correct pronunciation of Scott Makowske’s last name: “mah-kow-skee”. You can find more info. on Scott Makowske elsewhere on this blog, here’s a great place to start: https://towsonglenarmfreakouts.wordpress.com/2013/02/28/excerpts-of-music-and-track-notes-from-the-first-towson-glen-arm-freakouts-compilation-album/

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One Response to “Okinawa in blue cheese” or The Day That Towson-Glen Arm Wrote In My Yearbook

  1. This is like Dutch Schultz’s last words as “see you in September”.

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